And the headline would be “Marine kicked, bringing the total American casualties to x+1 since Bush declared that major combat was over”

This was sent to me by a co-worker. Heh.

Subject: Go Marines !!!!

News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts, and a U.S.
Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were
captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and
brought before the leader.

The leader said, “I am familiar with your western custom of
granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember
you, do you have any last requests?”

Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan; so I’d like one last
bowlful of hot, spicy chili.” The leader nodded to an underling,
who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said,
“Now I can die content.”

Cokie Roberts said, “I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take
out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about
to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was
on the job til the end.” The leader directed an aide to hand over
the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then
said, “Now I can die happy.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is
your final wish?” “Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.”

“What?” asked the leader. “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,”
insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and
kicked him in the ass.The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his
knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the
leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack,
pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In
a flash, the Iraqis were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, “Why
didn’t you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in
the ass?”

“What!?” said the Marine, “And have you liberal assholes call ME
the aggressor?!?”



  1. I’ve heard this joke many times, mostly from Marines. Is it any wonder I got confused about you? :) ***