I’d say you cannot make shit like that up, but apparently you can

Oh, Look…It’s another leftist lying about his military service: Army records at odds with Occupy veteran’s claims

The claims of a dedicated member of the Occupy Buffalo movement that he saw combat in Iraq and Afghanistan are not supported by Army records.

Christopher M. Simmance has told several media outlets, including The Buffalo News, that he served as many as three tours of duty in those war zones and that he was severely injured in Afghanistan.

Service records obtained from the Army, however, show he was stationed at Fort Lewis, Wash., for three years and he left the active-duty Army in January 2001 — before the 9/11 terror attacks.

Liar Christopher M Simmance, dedicated member of the Occupy movement

Liar Christopher M Simmance, dedicated member of the Occupy movement

Simmance says his records are “incomplete” and that he “stands by” his claims of serving in the Special Forces, of being wounded in an RPG attack in Afghanistan, of also serving in Gaza, and of only having ten years to live due to his injuries.

Oh, and he claims to have served in “The Valley of Elah.”


We all know that the military has been known to screw up records once or twice before, but Murdoc’s not holding his breath that this guy is genuine. First of all, some people claiming to know him say that he’s “exaggerated” his service record. Second of all, many of the places he says he’s served seem to come from movies. Finally, the guy’s own mother “doesn’t believe any of it.”

Looks like Christopher M. Simmance is a liar.


  1. “Valley of Elah”?

    Next he’ll be telling us his CO was “Keyser Soze”.

    Cripes, this jack-ass is even nuttier than Busey.


  2. My records are incomplete too! There’s nothing on my DD214 about when I jumped into Normandy, defended Stalingrad, destroyed the radar on the Tirpitz, and thwarted a global nuclear terror scheme by Russian separatists!

    Or does playing Call of Duty no longer count as service?

  3. “I was at the Battle of Elah, and all I got for it was this lousy T-shirt”. LoL

    I am NOT buying the story that whole entire *years* of his service records are “missing”; not even the idiot savants who devised the Sergeant York AA DIVAD could screw-up that big. That is, unless records missing from existence counts.

    1. Yeah. They’re missing from the Real World compared to Christopher’s World.

      Really, if your mom tells the public that you’re full of it, maybe take a a moment to reassess your story.

  4. Valley of Elah? LOL! This gut couldn’t find it on a map! (most people can’t).

    I wasn’t aware that the American military had a presence just 15 miles Southwest of Jerusalem, LOL!

    What and idiot! Some veterans should beat the crap out of him for this!

  5. I know this is an old story that I’ve already commented on, but I think you’ll find this interesting.

    It turns out, “In the Valley of Elah” is the name of a war movie set in Afghanistan;

    This leads me to believe that this dufus watched (or maybe just heard of) the movie, assumed that the “Valley of Elah” was some place in Afghanistan where fighting was taking place, and conjured-up the story.

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