This is a little story on the ‘News In Brief’ section of The Onion’s front page this week. The story reads
BAGHDAD—Spokesmen for Halliburton International announced Monday that employee Thomas Hammill will not be paid for the three weeks he failed to fulfill his truck-driving duties while being held at gunpoint by Iraqi captors. “While we share your joy in regaining your freedom, we are forced to withhold your wages for the period of April 9 to May 2,” read the official corporate reprimand, which reached Hammill in Germany as doctors treated his bullet wound. “A disciplinary slip noting your failure to report to work has been added to your employee file.” Halliburton has not yet disclosed the amount Hammill is being charged for structural damage to the company truck he was shot in.
I’m thinking that this is going to turn up somewhere passed off as a legit story. Previous Onion stories and quotes have made the news as “real”, and this one demonstrates how evil Halliburton (and by connection, Dick Cheney (and by connection, President Bush)) is, so I’d say there are close to even odds that someone gobbles it up.
If anyone happens to notice it somewhere, let me know.