Note to Self: Avoid this film like the Plague

Vogon Film Making

I’ve been more or less dreading the upcoming film version of THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY. I mean, come on. But a part of me was holding out hope that it might be worth it, especially as my kids both love the original series.

Alas, AE Brain points out some editing that probably won’t sit well with longtime fans:

Here’s the original dialogue:

“I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the Display Department.”
“With a torch.”
“The lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But you found the plans, didn’t you?”
“Oh yes, they were ‘on display’ in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the leopard.'”

And here’s the new, improved Movie version:

“I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“But you found the plans, didn’t you?”

Well, that’s certainly more humourous, isn’t it?

I certainly hope that the pacing was improved by that modification.

AE Brain found it at Blithering Bunny, who links to other sites with more, including one with this review:

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie is bad. Really bad. You just won’t believe how vastly, staggeringly, jaw-droppingly bad it is. I mean, you might think that The Phantom Menace was a hopelessly misguided attempt to reinvent a much-loved franchise by people who, though well-intentioned, completely failed to understand what made the original popular – but that’s just peanuts to the Hitchhiker’s movie. Listen.

And so on…

It’s bad on a big scale because enormous swathes of the story have been dispensed with – most of the Guide entries, whole scenes – or changed beyond all recognition. And it is bad on a small scale because many, many wonderful lines have been cut or in some cases actually rewritten to make them less funny. Whatever your favourite line from Hitchhiker’s, there’s a good chance that it won’t be in the film. Even if it’s really well-known, widely-quoted, much-loved, very funny – it will probably be absent from the movie. Or if it is there, it might have been changed.

How much do you want to bet that the script was put together by an infinite number of monkeys?


  1. No worries mate! Didn’t like the books….won’t see the movie (regardless of positive or negative reviews)! PS: The Phantom Menace was as good as any of the other SW movies…..people who gave it a bad review are simply displaying their lack of movie reviewing ability. LOL!

  2. Ahhh….. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy….the finest SciFi series ever written. I loved Adams’ creativity just as much as his dry humor. Reading your post, I think I’ll pass on the movie. Wasn’t there a TV series acutally produced by Adams himself?