Hazing the new guy


“Hurry up, Private! The stem is way back there. You need to check the tire pressure every morning. Yeah, back there. The Lieutenant thinks he drove over a bottle last night.”

Image from the 06/28/2005 Frontline Photos, which has a different caption.


  1. Nothing better than Jihadi guts to lube the road wheels. Put your shoulder into it!’ A friend of mine made an E7 jump up and down on the top of a M577 in the motor pool so he could check the shocks. He kept poking his head up to tell him to jump harder, then ducking under the front to choke on his laughter.

  2. Take a dollar bill. Spread it out flat. Now take said dollar and place it against the gun tube on your tank with one end of the bill at the muzzle end of the barrel and stretching back along the barrel towards the turret. Mark the point on the barrel at which the dollar ends. Now take your issue 2lb ballpeen and sharply wrap the barrel with the hammer at the marked spot. If it rings, you have now successfully checked ‘gun tube ring’ and mystified any wandering lieutenants. I see the folk in the photo are waging the neverending battle against the genetic tendency of end connectors and center guides to separate themselves from that to which they are supposed to remain attached.

  3. Shek, Heh, no not that time- definitely an E7. One who spent as much time in the motor pool as I did with the Retention NCO. Um, which was roughly none. The only blatantly stupid thing I saw an O1 do was come into the Bde TOC on a blazing hot day for some reason…she was an LNO from someplace, IIRC. She was not paying attention, reached for a water bottle, missed, and proceeded to take a big swig from the bottle of rubbing alcohol we used to update the maps. She made quite a mess.

  4. Nice. My guys didn’t mess with too bad when I was a butter bar and I definitely never succumbed to any ‘box of grid squares’ or ‘chemlight battery’ tricks. It was actually pretty funny to have the guys tell me when I was a CO when they were going to mess with the PLs. It made things in the company pretty entertaining.

  5. Shek, Ah yes, the box of grid squares, the can of A.I.R, the left-handed screwdriver, and checking the tire pressure in the road wheels as pictured…all never really get old, do they? Working in Bde and Bn staffs as I did, there were always a ton of offciers about, whether in the staff, assistants to the staff, assistant to LNOs from lateral staffs, etc etc etc. I never dicked with the LTs, but then we rarely saw new 2LTs up there. 1LTs occurred at times, but the ops SGM would tighten them up if they did something stupid. Not publicly; out at the fringe of the camo net where the generators lived. My NCOIC had clear directions for us: ‘help the LTs. They are only educated privates. You know more about how this all works than they do. Help them if they obviously need it, but do it diplomatically.’ Besides, they usually felt dumb enough the first time the Bde 6 tore their heads off in front of the entire staff; they didn’t need some enlisted clown sending them off to look for a metric hammer or whatever.

  6. Reminds me of some of the Navy/Coast Guard pranks ‘Relative Bearing Grease’ ‘Mail Buoy Watch’ ‘Nuclear Batteries’ Fun stuff

  7. more navy for you.. can of ‘Prop Wash’ a couple of yards of ‘Flightline’ get me a ‘Parachute Packer’ Military Bearing Grease I used the first 3 (when tried on me) to proceed to the barracks for the rest of the day to have a nap, then reported back at shift end to report that i tried all day i just couldnt find any… (^.^)