Help Wanted

The most recent issue of Army Times has a run-down of the top ten MOS classifications (subscription only) currently in demand in the US Army:

Because the Army is undergoing its biggest reorganization since World War II, reclassification opportunities abound and include specialties appropriate for the general population of soldiers.

When considering a job change, soldiers should consult the latest reclassification and re-enlistment in-out calls; Selective Re-enlistment Bonus announcements and DA Pamphlet 611-21, which describes the duties and entrance and training requirements for each MOS.

The MOSs, a basic description of the duties involved for each, and MO’s deeply insightul commentary (dated 01 APR 2006) are listed below.

13F Fire support specialist

Duties: Fire support specialists lead, supervise and serve in field artillery intelligence activities, including target processing in cannon battalions, division artillery, artillery and maneuver brigade and corps fire support elements.

Comments: This probably should include a “and other duties as assigned” tag, as cannon cockers, tank drivers, radar operators, and Air Force weather forecasters are all handed rifles and turned into 11B Infantry upon arrival in Iraq.

14E Patriot fire control enhanced operator and maintainer

Duties: Responsible for placement of the Patriot system in the field, these soldiers perform real-time status reporting during combat, operate identification systems, perform maintenance on coordinate, communication and target-identification systems, evaluate target data, identify and engage targets, and establish radio and wire communications in the field.

Comments: After the targetting error incidents during the initial invasion of Iraq, all the 14Es were fired and will need to be replaced. It wasn’t really their fault, but someone (below O-6) had to pay.

44B Metal worker

Duties: Fabricate and install sheet-metal products, such as roofs, air ducts, gutters and vents, but also manufacture custom repair parts and repair a variety of systems and vehicles, and weld ferrous and nonferrous metals.

Comments: Have you been reading the newspapers? Someone needs to fashion armor for the Humvees and turn the army we have into the army we want. Ferrous metals, shmerous metals…if it stops shrapnel it’s good to go.

63B Light-wheel vehicle mechanic

Duties: Primarily responsible for supervising and performing maintenance and recovery operations on wheeled vehicles. Duties include maintaining power-assisted brake systems, suspension systems, wheel/hub assemblies and hydraulic steering systems; troubleshooting problems in engines, electrical systems, steering, brakes and suspensions; and tuning and repairing engines.

Comments: Have you been reading the newspapers? They’re blowing up our trucks and jeeps with alarming frequency. (Additionally, someone needs to fix all the Humvees that turn up with two tons of ferrous metal welded onto the sides and broken suspensions.) Do you think those things fix themselves?



88M Motor transport operator

Duties: Primarily responsible for supervising and operating the Army’s fleet of more than 50,000 heavy trucks and buses; driving on all types of roads and terrain; maintaining fluid levels and tire pressures; and keeping operating logs and maintenance records.

Comments: Have you been reading the newspapers? No one wants to drive the freaking trucks and jeeps that keep getting blown up (and also broken suspensions from welded on ferrous metals). They’re all transferring out the first chance they get. One guy even switched to the Air Force, for Pete’s sake. There are lots of opportunities on the sitting truck driver career path right now. This is a growing field.

89B Ammunition specialist

Duties: Primarily responsible for receiving, storing and issuing conventional ammunition, guided missiles, large rockets and other ammunition-related items.

Comments: Despite what you read in the newspapers, we are actually shooting back. Since so much of our shooting is of the “one-shot, one-kill” variety, most 89Bs eventually just get handed a rifle and sent out as 11Bs.

14T Patriot launching station enhanced operator and maintainer

Duties: 14Ts supply the Patriot launcher with missiles. They operate specific Patriot electronic systems, perform preventative maintenance on launching stations and handle Patriot ammunition.

Comments: When all the 14Es were fired (see above), the 14Ts were in line for promotion. Unfortunately, a mix-up in communications resulted in all the 14Ts getting handed rifles and sent out as 11Bs. Additionally, since none of our enemies even own aircraft, Patriot missile batteries are about as useful as tits on a steer. But someone up in procurement needs kickback from the manufacturer and twenty additional Patriot units were tacked on to the latest Supplemental. So these positions need to be filled ASAP. If they’re not needed they can always just be converted to 11Bs. Rifles are cheaper than Patriot missiles.

74D Chemical operations specialist

Duties: Primarily responsible for operating, maintaining and supervising the use of nuclear, biological and chemical detection and decontamination equipment. also serve as emergency management specialists and assist in the preparation of emergency response plans to floods, earthquakes, hurricanes, biological warfare and enemy attacks.

Comments: This is just plain mystifying. Apparently Personnel didn’t hear that Iraq had no WMDs. Probably just another bait-and-switch to scare up some 11B Infantry and 88M Motor transport operators.

92F Petroleum supply specialist

Duties: Oversee handling, distribution and issuance of bulk and packaged petroleum, oils and lubricants.

Comments: Heh. “Distribution and issuance of bulk petroleum”…That’s why we’re there, right? Fill ‘er up, corporal!

92W Water treatment specialist

Duties: Primarily responsible for supervision and installation of water-treatment equipment, and the storage and distribution of water.

Comments: The Army used to buy treated water from Halliburton. It didn’t work out so well except for the guy who collects spores, molds, and fungus. The Army will clean its own freaking water from here on out, thankyouverymuch.

Comments

  1. Didn’t you hear? Six of the major FOB’s in Iraq are planning on bottling their own water. So, water treatment is big business again! Incidentally, it’s 11B Infantry.

  2. Awwww yur so funneh – April Fools stuff that is… ‘Everyone’s opinion is equally valid’ along with the peace sign and glaring blasphemous pink… yeah.

  3. Steve: D’oh! That was, uhhh, part of the joke…Yeah! It was part of the joke! Hah hah! Wasn’t it funny? Fixed. Thanks.

  4. That’s funny. My secondary MOS is 74D, and I know a couple of people from my unit got pulled and retrained as 88Ms. What ever happened to the ‘every soldier is a rifleman’ army? You do whatever the mission requires, and hopefully they cross-train you first.