Weapon buy-back time

norinco_sks.jpgGeek Lethal at the Ministry writes On Spring Cleaning. Um, I Mean, On Helping Save Ourselves From the Assault Weapon Menace:

Then the uniformed cop I turned the rifle in to couldn’t manage the cable lock (which I had minutes before made sure was functional), so to avoid doing it for him in front of everybody just quietly told him he could cut it if he had to. Oh, and that was after he exclaimed it was an –assault rifle” which, in my state, it is, but in the real world you could do alot better than –assaulting” with a 10 round internal magazine rifle with a design that harkens back to an era of Sherman tanks and propeller-driven fighter planes. But I found his excitement over netting both an –assault rifle” and, after a quick going-over, determining that it was –yup, a semi-automatic!”, humorous.

Read the whole thing. (Warning, the comments section turns into, as is common at the Ministry, a discussion of anti-zombie tactics. Worth reading, though…)


  1. Do they take these? Notice how they all say, ‘when the zombies come.’ Not ‘if’, ‘when’. Makes me feel a little bit better about myself, though. It probably shouldn’t…

  2. You’ll notice that it was a commenter (Bram) who started the zombie thing on that post. It’s like battleships and DD(X) here. Of course, once it starts, we’ll all pile on.

  3. I was interested in the origin of the head shot requirement. So do you think my crossbow that has been specially modified to shoot wooden stakes (in the event of a vampire infestation, naturally) will not work on zombies? I suppose I’ll get the same threats of involuntary institutionalization from my wife when I have to stock up on a whole new class of weaponry. The key to getting the stakes to fly straight is to insert a depleted uranium slug near the tip, by the way. Keep the Cg forward of the Cl and your projectiles will be stable, even if you aren’t. That’s what I always say.

  4. I couldn’t, in good conscience, let Mr. Lethal sell of his best zombie defense weaponry without a warning.

  5. Dfens, I should think that if a bullet through the head will put down a zombie, a crossbow bolt (steel, wood, or depleted uranium) should do just as well. Do you think a wood hollow point .45 ACP would serve as an field-expedient vapire stake? You’d have a useful, multi-purpose anti-undead weapon there. If you added some silver plating to head, you could get an undead trifecta and kill werewolves too. Your only problem will be rate of fire.

  6. Bram, No worries- my Sig and my Mossberg are still at home, resting comfortably and in no danger of being exchanged for $75-worth of Wal Mart gift cards.

  7. This maybe a totally lame question buttt I have often wonder??? what would happen if I put out some flyers then had my own ‘gun buy’ at say 50 a pop?? Think they would throw me in jail? If you just picked up a small percentage of cherries it would easily balance out.

  8. Hmm, maybe a silver pointed flechette with a wood stabilizing stick would do the trick. You’d need a sabot, and have to shoot it out of a smooth bore gun. Does that suggest a combat shotgun to anyone besides me?