Mr. Fusion it ain’t

Russian nuclear engineers will light artificial sun on New Year’s Eve

Pravda reports that Russian scientists have managed to create a magnetic field that is 20 million times more powerful than that of the earth. This will allow them to “bottle” a thermonuclear reaction, which could potentially be used as an energy source. They are going to attempt to create a test reaction within their field tonight.

What could possibly go wrong?

On a related note, Jupiter still hasn’t turned into a new star.